It's true that each member of the Thomas clan has a unique way of expressing himself.  For example, I post things to this Web site.  My Uncle Russ, on the other hand, has written letters to the M&M/Mars chocolate company on the topic of "Siamese M&Ms"—those rare, freak-of-nature candies that actually contain two peanut centers.  To each his own.

My Uncle Earl's chosen means of expression is song.  Earl's original composition below, titled "Drivin' Down the Road," was unveiled at the 2003 Thomas Family Clambake.  Performed by the songwriter himself, it was warmly received by all in attendance.  Even M&M-obsessed Russ praised the song, in his own unique way, by saying that it "melts in your mouth, not in your hands."
Uncle Earl in the Round

"Drivin' Down the Road"

An Original Song by Earl Thomas

Drivin' I was drivin' down the road in my Toyota van,

Yea drivin' down the road, tryin' to understand

Tell me how can it be that in this family

Everybody's crazy all except for me
Drivin' I was drivin' down the road, thinkin' 'bout Brother John,

Yea drivin' down the road, and wonderin' what he's on

Now in case you didn't know, he voted for Ross Perot

& drives a little green bug where ever he goes
Drivin' I was drivin' down the road, thinkin' 'bout Brother Glenn,

I've always thought I knew him since way back when

Cause he walks the straight & narrow and he's nobody's fool

That's why I was surprised when he went to dancin' school
Drivin' Now I'm ridin' down the road, with Sister Marguerite,

She's drivin' kinda fast, and I'm gettin' cold feet

She must be doin' eighty, the gas is on the floor

I hear the sirens howlin'; I don't want to ride no more
Drivin' I was drivin' down the road, thinkin' 'bout brother Russ,

And how he loves to argue with the rest of us

There isn't any subject on which he won't expound

I've even heard him argue with no one else around
Drivin' I was drivin' down the road, thinkin' 'bout my Dad,

He's always complainin' 'bout things that make him mad

The media's all liberal and there's nothin' on TV

So why he keeps on watchin' is a mystery to me
Drivin' I was drivin' down the road, thinkin' 'bout my Mom,

She's always sweet and nice, always cool and calm

Then just the other day while we were playing cards

Marguerite was whinin' and Russ was braggin' hard

And Dad was goin' on about some nonsense and such

And somewhere in all that noise it became too much

Yea I saw my Mama lose it as she turned to me and said

Why don't you write a song and rip 'em all to shreds

Chorus
Tell me how can it be that in this family
Everybody's crazy all except for me

Earl's Song
Click here for the original sheet music, prepared by Uncle Earl himself.  It even includes guitar chords, which mean nothing to me, but might come in handy to Eddie Van Halen, who visits this site all the time.

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